Learning to Love

An email Pops sent me...

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right
person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next
to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all
seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question
because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the
author. Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love with
your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like
their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO
anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the
expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing,
and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and
spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being
together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY
relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's
idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of
this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic
difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much
duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your
partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you
reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to
desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships
breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person;
it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for
fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a
hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer
to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within
it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You
could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same
situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this): The key to succeeding in a
relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the
person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to
work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And
most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make
it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are
specific things you can do (with or without your partner). Just as there
are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws
for relationships. If you know and apply these laws, the results are
predictable. Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Always Remember this : Worldly events determine who walks into your
life. It is up
to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you
refuse to let GO!!